Hardships can be life’s greatest teachers, but without the right tools, they can also leave us feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and defeated. At Untangled Mind, I emphasize a key principle: before we can grow through life’s challenges, we must first build a strong foundation. This foundation begins with the ability to self-regulate and soothe.
My pyramid model—a cornerstone of the Untangled Mind Pathway™—provides a roadmap for navigating life’s difficulties. Rooted in CBT and neuropsychotherapy principles, the model integrates research on how the brain and body respond to stress, emphasizing a bottom-up approach to healing and growth. In this blog, I’ll explain why this approach works, why regulation is critical, and how to use it as a stepping stone to grow through hardships.
Why Regulation is Essential: The Foundation of the Pyramid
Imagine trying to build a house on a shaky foundation. No matter how strong the structure above, it won’t stand without stability below. The same is true for our mental health.
The base of my pyramid focuses on key essentials: building safe connections, foundational needs, and soothing and regulation, drawing from neuroscience research on the brain's stress response. Without these skills, enduring and growing from hardship becomes impossible because:
The brain’s survival mode blocks growth. When we’re overwhelmed by stress, the brain activates the amygdala, pulling us into "fight, flight, or freeze" mode. This survival response limits access to the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for problem-solving, emotional regulation, and perspective-taking.
Unregulated stress becomes chronic. Without tools to self-soothe, stress embeds itself into the nervous system, leading to anxiety, depression, and physical health problems.
Growth requires safety. As neuropsychotherapy research highlights, healing and growth occur when the nervous system feels safe enough to engage in reflective and adaptive thinking.
By starting with regulation, we stabilize the body and brain, creating a secure base from which to confront and learn from challenges.
How the Pyramid Works: A Bottom-Up Approach to Growth
My pyramid model aligns with the bottom-up approach used in neuropsychotherapy. Here’s how it works:
Building Safe Connections: At the base of the pyramid, the focus is on creating relationships that foster trust and safety. These connections help calm the nervous system, laying the groundwork for further growth.
Foundational Needs: Addressing physical and emotional needs is crucial. Meeting basic needs like rest, nutrition, and emotional stability creates the stability necessary for self-regulation and healing.
Regulation and Safety: The next layer involves calming the nervous system through soothing techniques, grounding exercises, and self-compassion practices. This ensures the brain and body are in a state of readiness to process experiences.
Attachment: Secure attachment is vital for emotional healing. By addressing attachment patterns, individuals can build healthier relationships and develop a stronger sense of trust in themselves and others.
Processing and Understanding: Once regulated, the next layer involves exploring thoughts and emotions connected to the hardship. At this stage, we can examine our experiences with curiosity rather than fear.
Cognitive Behavioral Strategies: This stage focuses on identifying and reframing negative thought patterns to build resilience and promote adaptive thinking. By addressing cognitive distortions, individuals gain tools to break free from cycles of fear or negativity.
Resilience and Growth: With a solid foundation of regulation, attachment, and emotional understanding, the final layer leverages hardships to build resilience, develop a stronger sense of self, and find meaning in adversity.
By working through each of these layers, the pyramid provides a comprehensive roadmap for navigating hardship and achieving personal growth.
The Positive Effects of Regulation: Research Highlights
Research on neuropsychotherapy and the brain’s plasticity shows that:
Regulation rewires the brain. Practices like deep breathing and grounding reduce amygdala activation and strengthen neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex, increasing resilience over time.
Regulated individuals process trauma more effectively. Studies show that a calm nervous system improves the brain's ability to integrate traumatic memories, reducing their emotional intensity.
A foundation of safety promotes long-term growth. When individuals start with regulation, they are more likely to engage in adaptive coping strategies and experience personal growth.
Steps to Build Regulation and Grow Through Hardship
If growth through hardship begins with regulation, how do we build that foundation? Here are some actionable steps:
Pinpoint your triggers. Identify situations that dysregulate you. Awareness is the first step to gaining control over your response.
Practice daily soothing techniques. Incorporate deep breathing, grounding exercises, or mindfulness into your routine. These practices help you stay calm when stress arises.
Tune into your body. Learn to recognize signs of dysregulation, like a racing heart or tight muscles. Use these cues to pause and self-soothe.
Hold space for self-compassion. Hardships are often accompanied by self-criticism. Replace negative self-talk with affirming and realistic reframes.
Reframe your mindset. Once regulated, explore what the hardship can teach you. Ask questions like, “What is this experience showing me?” or “How can I grow through this?”
Align with meaningful actions. Use your experience to guide intentional choices, whether it’s setting boundaries, pursuing a new goal, or fostering stronger relationships.
From Hardship to Growth: The Untangled Mind Approach
At Untangled Mind, I believe that challenges, while painful, can lead to extraordinary growth—but only when we are equipped to face them. My pyramid model offers a clear path: start with regulation, build understanding, and move toward resilience. This evidence-based, bottom-up approach ensures that you don’t just survive life’s difficulties—you thrive through them.
And here’s some exciting news: I’m currently developing a series of workbooks based on my pyramid model! These workbooks are designed to guide you step-by-step through building a foundation of regulation, processing life’s challenges, and unlocking personal growth. Stay tuned for their release—you won’t want to miss the opportunity to deepen your growth journey.
Are you ready to begin? Visit Untangled Mind to learn more about the Untangled Mind Pathway™ and start building your foundation today.
Commentaires